Perfection Comes With a Price
by yukiislikesnow
Summary: Sequel to All I'll Ever Be. Yuki and Kyo are now in college and are happy with their new life, but what happens when tragedy strikes? Is their perfect relationship worth the cost?
1. Broken Minds, Broken Bodies

Perfection Comes With a Price

Pairings: Yuki Kyo

! Summary of "All I'll Ever Be", which you really should read before this story. Yuki and Kyo had it bad growing up, they fall in love. Akito finds out, gets pissed, and dies. Somewhere along the way there is cross-dressing, a sex tape, plenty of flashbacks, and a very big misunderstanding on Tohru's part from hearing moans. !

Chapter 1

This is the much awaited sequel to "All I'll Ever Be." Now that I am finally over my illness, it turns out I had a bad case of stomach flu and something else that was aggregating my asthma, I am able to post once again. Well faithful readers, enjoy.

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…_All I'll ever be_…

…_Mine_…

Those words, those words that had caused Yuki so much pain as a child were now the same words that he yearned to hear. It was his link to Kyo when they were apart. Not that it happened that often. Now a days Yuki and Kyo were practically joined at the hip.

School was going all right for them both, better for the rat, but okay nonetheless. Yuki wanted to teach and Kyo, surprise surprise wanted to get a degree in entrepreneurship. (Owning and managing a business of any type.) He wanted to take over his masters' dojo and maybe open a few of his own.

There they were, lying in bed, it was well past ten a.m. and even the smell of sweets wafting in from their open window was not enough to wake the young lovers. Yuki was still as horrible as ever in the morning, he had however gotten over the shock of waking up in a mass of warm limbs. (Like when Yuki woke up and fell out of bed.)

The rat's head was resting on the cat's chest and it was tucked gently under his lover's tanned chin. The neko's breathing was tousling Yuki's already mussed hair. They had both fallen asleep after a night of "passion." It was slow sweet and it had started because they were remembering.

They thought of all those buried memories and emotions. Every yell, punch, kick, kiss, caress, and breath they'd had together.

"Yuki, it's time to wake up…Yuki…" Kyo let his hand dance gently across his lover's smooth back and kissed him on the forehead. The nezumi sifted enough for the neko to leave the warmth of the bed. It was a Saturday and they were going to go out later, assuming Yuki decides to wake at a decent hour.

By the time Kyo was completely dressed Yuki was just stepping onto the hardwood floors. "Cold…" He tried to lie back down but Kyo wouldn't have it. He pulled his drowsy lover out of bed, admiring his nude form, and then gave him some clothes. Casual but beautiful, a light purple button-up shirt and black pants that were only the slightest bit tight around the rat's thighs.

Kyo had donned his usual tight black tee that showed his stomach but opted the cargo pants for some gray, black, and white camo pants. Yuki hugged his lover and let out a contented breath against his tan neck. "Where are you taking me Koneko?" Said kitten brushed his rat's hair out of his face and gave him a 'like-I'm-gonna-tell' look.

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They weren't holding hands, Yuki was still too self-conscious for that, Kyo too but the rat was a little more blunt about his low self-esteem issues. They were walking down a main street near their college. It was a nice day out and it seemed perfect, too perfect for Yuki.

_I feel like any minute something is going to steal Kyo away from me. _Yuki reached out and squeezed Kyon's hand for a fleeting second, long enough to earn him a worried but happy smile, then let his hand drop to his side.

I feel like today is going way to perfect. Damn it! Why do I always have to be so negative!

"Meow." Kyo snapped out of his ranting when a small kitten ran out in front of him and Yuki. It was a small white one with blue eyes. _Probably deaf, poor little guy._ Kyo went to pick him up but he ran out into the street after there was a loud screeching noise coming from around the corner.

"Maybe not deaf…" He ran out after the cat.

"Kyo! Kyo wait!" Coming around the corner was a car, a cop car, it was speeding right towards Kyo and the kitten, which was almost on the other side of the street.

In reality it took only a few seconds, but to Yuki it took an eternity. There were cop cars on each side of the street and a man holding a gun was in between them next to Kyo. The cops opened fire and they hit the criminal, but one hit Kyo in the chest.

A man was holding Yuki back. He was screaming, crying and thrashing violently. "Kyo! Kyo! Kyo no! You can't leave, Kyo! Kyo! Kyo!" Yuki's crying continued but eventually Yuki sank to his knees and his lovers name became a chant whispered on his breath. The man holding him slackened his grip but Yuki had no will to move forward.

Kyo, his Kyo who had been so strong, who had loved him, who had taken care of him when he needed it, was lying in the street bleeding to death. Yuki couldn't hear the sounds of cop sirens, screams, or gunshots anymore; all he could hear was his own heartbeat thundering in his ears.

The rat was still chanting Kyo's name when he arrived at the hospital. It was quieter still and it came now in longer intervals. Hatori would arrive shortly but until then Yuki felt just as small and helpless as he had when Akito was still alive. He had been so happy that morning, lying in his lovers' tanned and warm arms; now he was hugging his knees in the corner of a hospital waiting room, crying into his limbs.

I love you. Please don't die.

…_All I'll ever be…_

He's dead and I still feel him controlling me.

Kyo's body wasn't completely gone, but it was still uncertain at that moment to Hatori, who had entered sometime during Yuki's wallowing, whether or not Yuki's sanity was still salvageable.

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Sorry about the long wait on the sequel. For the longest time I was unsure of how I would finish the first chapter. In the end I got inspiration from a friend who asked this one favor of me. She likes the story where the uke has to take control because of a sudden tragedy. This is for you Stephanie Gaulmer.

No I will not kill Kyo, I am not that much of a sadist.

R&R


	2. Chaos

Perfection Comes With a Price

Chapter 2

Pairings Yuki Kyo

Well hello my faithful readers, sorry for the wait, I've been a little busy with my almost nonexistent life and I found it hard to get a hold on typing time. Well this chapter should dig further into Kyo's gunshot wound and Yuki's ever present mind problems. I really do love Yuki, Kyo and Haru (not a main character this time but still…) so don't worry, I'm not going to kill them and it hurts me a little inside to hurt them like this. (Yes I know I'm pathetic, you can laugh, and I give you permission.)

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Hatori thought it would be best not to approach Yuki at the current time, not until he had good news, any news. He had yet to even see Kyo but he couldn't help but worry more about the rat. The neko had doctors watching over him, Shigure and Kazuma as well, the nezumi was alone.

That's how it always seemed to be, Yuki would sit alone, even surrounded by a sea of people, he had no one. When he did manage to grab onto something or someone it was ripped away form him. It just so happens that Kyo often finds happiness then is struck down by something that causes him pain.

Hatori decided that he couldn't leave Kyo any longer and began looking for someone to help him. He spotted Mayuko; she had been on her way to see him after she heard about Kyo. "Mayu-Chan, I need you to look after Yuki."

"Yuki? But isn't Kyo the one who-"

"Yes, and that's exactly why I need you to watch him. Yuki suffers from several trauma induced mental disorders. He was close to committing suicide in the eighth grade; he would have succeeded if Hatsuharu hadn't knocked the knife from his hand. He and Kyo recently began dating each other, about five or six months ago. If he thinks Kyo isn't going to make it he may not see the point in living."

Mayu nodded and thought back on everything he had done when she had taught him. _He was always so quiet, afraid to get near people and have fun. I wonder what kind of trauma he went through. Akito…it must have been him, just like Kana…don't die Kyo._

She was too afraid of startling Yuki to get too close so instead she sat nearby and watched as he rocked slowly back and forth with his head in his knees, crying. She sat in silence for as long as she could but in the end she felt the desperate need to comfort the boy. She knew good and well what would happen if she hugged him but she felt she needed to do something.

Mayu walked as quietly as possible to the shaking form that was Yuki Sohma. She reached out to rub his back when a pair of red-rimmed purple eyes locked with hers. "What?"

"I just wanted to let you know that Ky-" Before the neko's name finished rolling off her tongue the rat looked back to his knees. Mayu touched him gently on the shoulder and suddenly realized how frail and alone Yuki was. The teacher expected him to yell at him or reach up and try to hug her, despite his condition; she didn't expect what happened next.

Yuki, upon feeling her gentle touch, collapsed further on the ground and began sobbing uncontrollably. He was practically screaming it was all nonsense. Things like how he was no good for Kyo, he should've died years ago, and it was all his fault because he was too unstable to protect anyone. He was almost crying against the tile but his face was just above it. His hands were clenching and unclenching his chest and stomach in his fit.

Mayu didn't know what she could do for him. She was just going to let him cry it out until his breathing became stressed. _He's having an attack. What do I do? I can't call Ha'ri…_"Nurse! Nurse! He's having an asthma attack! I-I don't know what kind of medicine he needs!" A nurse ran right to them, he tried to pick Yuki up from the ground but he was having some difficulty. The rat wasn't helping in any way.

"Young Man! Young Man, I need you to let me help you! Miss, is this your child?" Mayu shook her head and nearly broke down crying herself when she heard a flat-line noise coming from Kyo's room.

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Kyo was lying in his hospital bed, naked from the waist up, with the exception of some blood and gauze. There was an oxygen mask secured tightly around his nose and mouth. His breathing was ragged but it was to be expected. The bullet had punctured his left lung. He would live, if the doctors could remove the bullet without tearing the organ tissue.

They were working quickly so the blood loss wouldn't be too extensive. It was a long hard battle. Blood was coming out too fast and the usually tan feline was loosing skin tone.

Hatori removed the bullet and threw it carelessly into the tin container behind him. For the longest time, with those tweezers in hand, he had been in a trance of sorts. He knew nothing of his life except the cool metal in his hands and the skin the copper jacketed lead that had torn so carelessly through a young boy's breast. The sickening clink of the copper bullet against the tin brought him back to reality. He could finally see how bad his cousin looked and he was also forced to hear the sudden screaming of Yuki in the hall.

He flat-lined. It was sudden, just like the screaming in the hall. Hatori had always been told he was cold as ice but now he was forced to feel so much at once, he didn't think he could stand it. In a clumsy frenzy Ha'ri tried to find out what his mistake had been. Kyo wasn't breathing and from the distant voice of a male nurse, neither was Yuki.

It was chaos, doctors and nurses were running into the room, Kazuma was having a panic attack; Shigure had collapsed against a wall, Mayu was crying and pacing, and Yuki was fighting with someone trying to help him. It was at that moment Hatori turned back to ice and bent down to perform CPR. While pumping Kyo's chest he shouted for a blood transfusion and let his mind freeze over to the world around him.

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Yuki was fighting his own battle with a nurse. _Just let me die! He did, just let me die!_ The rat tried to claw his way out of the nurses' grasp but eventually he couldn't fight anymore. He collapsed again and let himself be carried away, there were nurses carrying blood packs into Kyo's room. _He's still alive, I can't give up._

Mayu spotted Hatori and locked eyes with him. It was agreement between them that both boys needed to be watched but they would both survive the night.

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Kyo's heart monitor was showing signs of a steady heartbeat and a strong pulse. Yuki was sitting in a large windowsill with a nebulizer in his mouth, the mist flowing everywhere around him. (Nebulizer's are these things that work like an inhaler, it puts albuterol in your system but it comes out as a mist and you stick the mouth piece in your mouth and the turquoise tube faces out and it blows the extra albuterol out when you exhale. I've had many of these treatments. It tastes kind of like battery acid and it makes you hyper and dries out your mouth.)

The cat was too exhausted to sleep and had yet to wake since he first lost conciseness. The rat was too stuck wallowing in his own pity and past memories to focus on anything, not even the lover that needed him so desperately.

They had their moment of happiness where everything was perfect and it had been taken away in an instant.

Maybe Akito was right about me…I don't deserve him,…I love you Kyo… 

"…Yuki…"

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Well that is the end of chapter 2 and I hope you all enjoyed it. I'm sorry if you were expecting something a little happier. It will get better and I hope you like it.

R&R


	3. A Teacher Remembers

Perfection Comes With a Price

Chapter 3

Pairings Yuki Kyo

Well this chapter is showing more into the world of Yuki's mental issues and a little on Kyo's past pains. It may or may not be a little AU. I'm not really sure because I haven't read the entire series. I personally think flashbacks can be good so if you don't like them then bare with me, it would make me wonder though if you didn't, All I'll Ever Be had plenty of flashbacks. And let it continue.

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Tan hands skirted across a pale stomach. Said stomach tensed and released in pleasure. Moist lips followed calloused fingers. Pale hands found their way to auburn tresses and forced the head down. Slender hips flexed into a heated mouth.

Yuki woke up in a strange bed around 4:30 a.m. For a few moments he was blind to the room around him as he willed his erection away, he didn't feel like pleasuring himself at the moment. (Who could blame him?) Once his problem dissipated the rat became fully aware of his unusual surroundings. It was a little plain but he did notice some pictures. He walked to the wall closest to him he saw a picture of Kana. _Mayu-sensei…_

Now that the nezumi was aware of where he was he felt confused. The last thing he remembered was being wired on albuterol (It does make you hyper.) and wondering how he could end his life. Soft footsteps lead to the door, '_Pajamas?'_, and he twisted the knob carefully.

Yuki crept, no pun intended, as quietly as a mouse to the main room. There he found his old teacher, Hatori's new girlfriend, drinking tea with a worried look on her face.

**(Mayu's Flashback)**

**Mayu had come to visit Kana at Hatori's house. It was rather quiet, even more so when Kana was called away to tend to someone with a bad cold. Mayu was alone for a few moments, then Hatori came running frantically towards her. "Mayu, Mayu! I need your help, please."**

"**Yeah sure what do you need doctor-man?" Hatori pulled a picture from his pocket and handed it her. It was a picture of a small boy, possibly girl, with silvery hair and purple eyes. "Cute, who is it?"**

"**His name is Yuki, he has bad food poisoning and needs a bath. I'd have Kana do it, or better yet I would, but I need to tend to Akito immediately. He's in my room. Just don't hug him please, he has some trauma induced illnesses that-"**

"**Okay, I won't hug him." Mayu made her way into the dragon's room as he ran off. _Yuki…huh, I wonder how he got food poisoning. Whenever my good for nothing boyfriend mentions Yuki I get the impression that he only eats vegetables and cheese._**

**She stepped into Hatori's room and was heartbroken. Lying sprawled out, sweating, cringing, and gripping his stomach was Yuki Sohma. He was obviously in pain. "Hey little guy, I'm here to help you take a bath." The rat opened his eyes half way then tried to sit up. It was a pathetic attempt. He barely made it half way up before falling back to the mattress.**

**Mayu reached out and grabbed him by the shoulders. She pulled him up and walked him to the bathroom. He tried to untie the obi but his fingers were shaking and he failed several times before Mayu reached out and pulled his clothes gently from his body.**

**Yuki leaned his forehead against her arm in thanks and then was lifted into a tub. "I'm going to turn the water on now and if it gets too hot or cold just tug on my arm okay." He nodded and sighed as he felt water of just the right temperature begin to flow across his body.**

**The teacher gently washed him, hair included, and not once was Yuki uncomfortable with her, not even when she cleaned his thighs and lower stomach.**

**(end flashback)**

"Why didn't I notice then? I know you didn't get food poisoning on your own."

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Eyelids opened to reveal ruby eyes. _Man I feel like lead._ Kyo tried to move his arms and legs about, lying in bed so long had made him uncomfortable. After shifting himself he allowed his eyes to close once more. _What happened to me?…Oh yeah, I was shot. Yuki…I hope your okay._ A nurse entered the room and frowned at him. She started moving things around, checking charts, anything not to deal with Kyo. When, finally, she had nothing else to do she put her hands on her hips and faced the cat.

"You're awake."

Duh… 

"Ya know, your boyfriend caused a hell of a lot of trouble earlier."

_Yuki…is he okay?_ He looked up at her with worried eyes.

"He was crying real quiet, then somebody touched him and her freaked out. Screaming, scratching the nurse who tried to help him, he gave himself an asthma attack. Then he started acting catatonic. Couldn't wait to get rid of him." Kyo opened his mouth to tell her off but she noticed and ran out of the room.

The cat was left alone for a long time with only his worried to keep him company. He was more worried about his lovers mind than his own body. _Be okay koi._

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Well I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I really am trying to update as soon as humanly possible. I promise I will focus more on Kyo later.

R&R


	4. From Experience

Chapter 4

Pairings Yuki Kyo

Well I'm sorry for the long wait. I know Alice S. is really anxious to read this next chapter and so are a few more of my friends. I really do hope you enjoy it. I've been a little busy with school and family so I've been finding it hard to make time to type.

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Lying in bed helpless, it was something that made Kyo remember the harsh reality of his lovers past. It occurred to him that his Yuki had spent most of his younger years staring at the ceiling praying for daylight.

Many of the nurses tried to avoid his room; partly Hatori's doing, partly the nurses not wanting anything to deal with the feisty teen. With no one else to distract him he continued to wallow in his thoughts. _A damn cat. I got shot for a damn cat that I didn't even catch. I…I'm so weak…slow…he didn't want me to go but I didn't listen. Yuki…forgive me._ Not since that night at the lake, when his true form had been revealed, had he cried. Just as the first crystalline tear began to fall from his ruby eyes, Hatori entered the room.

Kyo didn't notice the dragon and he never would. Ha'ri stood for the longest time in silence watching the boy cry his heart out. He knew from experience that withholding tears can cost you things, emotions for example. He knew that if you spent long enough holding things inside they begin to eat away at you, eat away at your feelings, memories, happiness, until all you have left is a shell of who you were. (Sorry about that deep little paragraph, I'm a bit of a philosopher/psychiatrist to my friends.)

After watching Kyo cry himself to sleep the doctor closed the door to wait for him to wake and cry again.

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Yuki let his hand slip from the doorframe as he heard her speak. _She knew…_ The rat debated whether or not to interrupt her. He knew from experience that at times you want to be left alone, but at the same time what you need the most is another person, she was obviously distraught and Yuki wasn't sure how much of a comfort he could be.

In the end, at Mayu's tears, did Yuki decide to keep her company. His eyes were focused on his feet, his motions slow, and he could feel his old teachers eyes burning into him. "I…thank you Mayuko-sensei." He sat next to her, still not willing to meet her gaze.

"No problem Yun-chan."

_Yun-chan?_

"Hatori told me that you might feel more comfortable waking up in an actual bed than a hospital one. I didn't feel like seeing Shigure right now." Her voice shifted to a whisper. "Damn pervert…" Yuki felt like smiling but couldn't. Laughing and smiling weren't a part of him at the moment, he felt as though he had no right to laugh if Kyo was ill or injured in such a way.

"Thank you for taking care of me…I know…I know I'm pathetic. I can't…everyone, everyone around me gets hurt. Akito was right." Yuki's hands were over his face, head bent down, crying. "He to-told me I would never be happy or have anyone who cared and he was right. Every time I find happiness it gets taken away. K-Kyo's bett-better off with someone else. I deserved Akito, he didn't care that I was a selfish, horrible person." His crying had gotten even worse and he was starting to have trouble breathing.

Mayu instantly panicked. "Y-Yuki you have to stop crying, your asthma…"She pulled his hands from his tear-stained face and pressed her forehead against his. "Breathe, breathe Yun. You need to breathe, focus on me. Please, focus on my breath and try to match it. I'm not afraid, I don't think you're selfish, I know Kyo loves you too much to worry about anything Akito said or thinks."

Between Mayu's words, breathing, and Yuki's sheer exhaustion the rat slowed his breathing and started to fall asleep. A pink blush rose to his usually pale features and a loud 'Poof' was heard. Yuki lay in Mayu's lap, surrounded by clothes in rat form.

_So he's the rat…quiet, silver hair, likes vegetables and cheese, I should've guessed it. _She gathered the teen in his hands and brought him back to her room. She closed the door and went to use the phone. She needed to speak with someone.

She was sure, even as she picked up the phone and dialed that the person she was calling would think it was in no way their responsibility to take care of Yuki but Mayu felt the need to try.

It took seven rings for her to get an answer. "What! Do you have any idea what time it is! You had better have a good reason-" Mayu clenched her fist and held the phone tighter.

"This is an important matter."

"Well spit it out I do want to go back to sleep!"

"Mrs. Sohma…it's your son."

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In this chapter Yuki has yet another break down and he starts saying he's selfish and that Akito was right, this idea isn't too far-fetched in the real world. It's a mental complex people can get, you see you can only be told something so many times before you start to believe it. I don't know the name of this complex, if there even is one…

Well I really am sorry about the long wait and short chapter. I'm trying my hardest to please my readers. Please enjoy.

R&R


	5. Frozen Warmth

Chapter 5

Pairings Yuki Kyo

I know the last chapter was short so I'll try to make this one longer. I was just trying to stop at a certain dramatic point and the effect was that it was a short chapter. I'm not one of those kids who sit down and draw a bubble chart before writing essays. I'm the kid who goes back and does that after. Webs (bubble charts) get in my way, I prefer to write and think as I go. Anyways I hope you can forgive me for my great gaps in-between writing because the story is so good, if you don't like it I'm really not offended.

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At roughly 5 a.m. Mrs. Sohma found herself seated in Mayuko's living room. Yuki was in a fitful sleep and Mayu tried her hardest not to lash out at his mother. "You have me here now what do you want with me?" She sat as though she was royalty and Mayu was an unruly servant.

"I'm worried about Yuki."

"Worried? Don't worry about him he feeds on it. Yuki spends so much time finding ways to be depressed, he's pathetic." Mayu slammed her glass down.

_How can she treat him that way? He's just a child. _"You're cold…" Mrs. Sohma seemed amused at these words.

"Me cold? Have you spoken to my child at all? His name suits him, more than I ever thought it would have. Do you know how Yuki got his name?"

"I-"

"Of course you don't. You never cared for him when he was small, not enough to ask, not that he would answer you." Mayu looked behind her quickly to make sure Yuki was out of earshot. The teacher had a distinct feeling that this conversation wouldn't compliment the boy.

"He was early, you know about the cursed, they're all early. They're all healthy too, but not Yuki. He was so tiny. When he was born he didn't cry. His lungs were underdeveloped and he had trouble keeping his body temperature up. The doctors forced me to touch him. I wanted nothing to do with him. Ayame was enough of a disappointment; I didn't deserve to have something weak and dependant attached to my hip. When I felt his skin it was cold. He seemed frozen like snow so I named him Yuki. It was the quickest insult I could think of. He wasn't meant to survive the night…it's nights like these that make me wish he had breathed his last in that tacky hospital, premature baby basinet."

Mayu was crying again. She had once cried for Hatori and now she gushed forth tears for the rat. Yuki was suffering, as far as she knew Kyo was on the verge of death, and Mrs. Sohma sat as calmly as ever. "You look ridiculous. Crying like a child, like Yuki did. Pathetic…"

"Get out…" The voice was low and breathy. Yuki had woken up from his nightmare filled sleep only to be graced with the pretenses for more nightmares. Mayu snapped her head to the side so fast her neck began to throb. His mother simply stood and left. Not a single word to her son or his old teacher.

"Mayuko-sensei, I think it would be best if I left as well." He turned towards the door.

"No! No you don't I promised Hatori that I'd take-" Yuki turned to her with glowing eyes (like in the anime when he summoned those rats) and she fell silent. _Those eyes…like Kana's when she went mad…or Akito…I saw that man once…he had that same look._

"Promise or no promise I will have to leave your home Miss Mayuko. Goodbye, I'll tell Hatori I'm alright." He left after that.

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The small sniffles and mumbled cursing led Ha'ri to believe that Kyo had awakened. He entered the room and found the cat letting out tears, curses, and laughs at odd intervals. "May I ask you what you're doing Kyo?"

The neko stopped his peculiar ritual to face the dragon. "I was thinking." It didn't take a genius to figure out what he had been remembering. "This one time, I had taken him to a lake. I made us a lunch and it was a sunny day. After we laid out our blanket and got settled a group of people came into the clearing. A family reunion or something. Yuki panicked and tried to hide behind me. He was afraid that someone would peg us as a gay couple. I ran out to the car and grabbed one of Tohru's skirts and some of her stockings. He changed in the bathroom and we spent the whole date pretending that he was Yukina. No one knew any different so we got away with it. In the end though a guy started hitting on Yuki so I kicked his ass. He got angry and we hightailed it before the bigger guys in the family could come after us. He said…he said the skirt wasn't so bad. We went to a drug store and I bought a disposable camera. The pictures are all inside a scrapbook Kisa made."

Hatori found himself picturing Yuki in a skirt and a very defensive Kyo. It made him smile, the first time in a while. _Yuki in a skirt, so help him if Shigure find the album._ Kyo started to laugh again and Ha'ri decided now was as good a time as ever to tell him about his condition.

"Kyo, as soon as you show us you can walk around on your own for at least three minutes without wheezing you can go home. Another doctor, another Sohma of course, will help you with it. I'm not saying you need physical therapy; you just need to be supervised." The neko was happy to hear this.

"I'll try my hardest to get better."

"More over, no more morning runs until I authorize it, no training, no strenuous activity." Kyo looked about to protest, he had been looking forward to necking with his nezumi once he was home. "No if ands or buts. Do what I say and you'll be back to…" he coughed and twitched uncomfortably, "sex with Yuki in no time."

Kyo laughed harder at Ha'ri's words.

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TBC

I know it seems like I spend a lot of time on Yuki but it does take more to describe a mental disorder than a gunshot.

Also the title _Frozen Warmth_ is suppose to symbolize how he was cold when he was born, like he was frozen, and how birth is suppose to be like warmth. It always seemed to me that a baby was supposed to bring warmth to a family (new couples too) but Yuki's birth wasn't welcome. He got the cold shoulder so to speak.

Next chapter coming soon.

R&R


	6. Momen and Tsubuki

Chapter 6

Pairings: Yuki Kyo

This chapter starts with Kyo! Joy to the cat lovers. It's been hard to start with him because I felt as if mental disorders/problems deserved immediate attention. Now don't worry, the story is far from over but I thought I should get this out of the way. The story on the whole is dedicated to Ororon but this particular chapter is dedicated to adi88.

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_About damn time I get out of here._ Kyo had finally proven that he could go home, his old flare had returned. Hatori would take him home around noon and the neko couldn't wait. "As soon as I get home! I can't have sex, that's a downer, but he's all mine!"

"Talking to yourself Kyonkichi? And about sleeping with my dear younger brother." Kyo dropped the glass he had been holding, spilling water and blushing profusely in the process.

"Yeah, what about it! You talk to hear yourself speak all the time!" Ayame smiled grimly and sat next to his younger cousin, handing him a towel as well. "…Thanks…" The hebi nodded and played with the sleeve of his kimono. The neko knew in his heart that something was seriously wrong. He allowed the silence to go on for a bit longer before snapping. "What the hell is your problem!"

"Oh…I…nothing is wrong with me especially."

"I asked if anything was wrong…its Yuki isn't it?" Ayame sighed and bowed his head, his platinum tresses falling over his face.

"He's been distant. Gure-san says its just like when he was younger. When he was at home with 'Kassan…alone really." (see details in Volume 12) Kyo twisted the towel in his grasp.

Yuki never told me…I don't know what his parents are like…I never even asked. I guess I wanted him to just tell me. Damn! I should've asked him on my own!

"By the look on your face Kyonkichi I assume you don't know what his 'home' life was like? He was confined to his room, no one was allowed to visit. Haru snuck in at times…sometimes even bringing Rin with him. But mostly he was alone, alone with a brother who didn't know he existed, or rather I paid him no mind, a mother that looked down upon him as if he were a pathetic…rodent…and a father who was only around long enough to hurt him. (I'm not sure what his dad was like so I made his personality up) Even away from the man who was once our God he was reminded of the 'lessons' Akito was so fond of teaching him."

Kyo began to mull over his own life in comparison with his lovers. Aya left him in silence as long as he needed it. Only a few times in his life was the hebi determined to remain silent and calm, one such time was when Ha'ri's eye had been injured.

"Ayame…"

"Yes Kyonkichi?"

"When is Hatori coming for me?" Aya's smile returned quickly as he pulled a set of keys from his pocket. "No…no you can't…I won't." Ayame's grin widened.

"Ah but I can and you will young Kyonkichi. Don't worry, Ha'ri taught me to drive. You do want to see your Prince, or should I say Princess, again don't you?" All Kyo could do was hope for the best.

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A white kitten was curled up quite comfortably on Kyo's pillow. It was the same kitten that Kyo had chased after. _I should name him…Momen._ "I'll call you Momen." (Momen means cotton ball, that's for you adi88) The kitten made no reply, he was fast asleep. _I haven't had a pet in a long time. Not since Tsubuki._ (Tsubuki means snowstorm)

(Flashback)

**Yuki stepped outside carrying a glass cage, inside was a single white mouse with dark gray eyes. Rin and Haru spotted him easily, it wasn't often the small boy was outside unattended. "Haru-chan you don't like him do you?"**

"**No! It's all his fault!" She giggled and picked up a pale. It was full of ice cold soapy dirty water, her parents had told her to dump it out. With the quickest of movements Rin dumped the grimy water onto her cousin. (is Yuki older or younger than her?)**

"**Ah!" Yuki screamed in shock as the water splashed over his body. Because the cage was glass his wet fingers couldn't hold onto it, it smashed to the ground, shattering the glass. Tsubuki was frightened and shot out of her now wrecked cage to her master, who was now shivering.**

**A still giggling Rin came outside with Haru in tow carrying a small Tabby cat. She nudged it in Yuki and Tsubuki's direction. The frightened white mouse ran from her master and the approaching cat. "No! Don't run away, please." The rat stepped forward and tripped, cutting himself on the shattered glass. He stood on shaky, bleeding legs and tried to shake the glass from the wounds on his palms.**

**By now Yuki was crying and trying to find him mouse. He had no such luck. He had run past Shigure who promptly picked him up and carried him, bridal style, to the Sohma clinic. The whole way Yuki squirmed in the inu's arms crying about Tsubuki.**

**After that Yuki didn't want another pet, not that his mother would've gotten him one even if he asked; she was reluctant to let him have Tsubuki to begin with.**

(End Flashback)

Yuki sat watching his new kitten until his brothers voice roused him from his daze. "Oh little brother of mine! My darling Yuki I have brought the ever fistey Kyonkichi with me!"

"Damn it! Don't call me Kyonkichi," Aya opened his mouth once more, "or Kyo-Kyo!"

Yuki's gaze had shifted from the now awake and startled kitten to the window. He felt his mattress sink and hoped to high Heaven that it wasn't his Nii-san coming closer. Warm tan arms encircling him demolished that thought. "Miss me?"

There was no answer, not with words. In that instant when Kyo held him again Yuki's tears began to fall once more. He couldn't get enough of this heat and light that seemed to emit from his lover. First warm tears slid down glassy cheeks then warm lips clashed with chapped ones.

Kyo held his lover tighter after he had turned and began the kiss. To Kyo it tasted salty, and like battery acid (the albuterol remember), but more importantly it tasted like Yuki. The cat was far too afraid of what Yuki would think if he let go to question why there was a cat in the room, or if doing this near Ayame was okay.

The kiss broke when Yuki desperately needed air, he was dizzy from lack of it. "I missed you so much! I…I don't ever want you to leave me, I need you so much." He was crying even harder now into Kyo's chest, clutching his shirt. Kyo stroked his head and hair making soothing noises.

Yuki's ear was pressed firmly to his lovers' chest so he could hear his steady heartbeat. "I'll take care of you Kyo I promise." The cat held the nezumi tighter and Ayame excused himself from the dorm and headed back to Shigure's house.

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TBC 

Sorry for the long wait you guys. I really didn't mean to make you wait this long. I've been beaten down by aggressive allergies and killer headaches, which are totally unrelated.

Spring Break is finally over and it is kind of a nice thing to see my friends at school but I did like the solitude.

One more time this is to Alice or adi88.

R&R


	7. Here's to Life and Love

Chapter 7

Pairings: Yuki Kyo

Disclaimer: Sadly I own nothing of Fruits Basket except the manga and anime I bought.

Well welcome back faithful readers, yaoi lovers, and people who just have nothing else to do. This is chapter 7…I think its chapter 7. I have a request to add some of my poetry into the story somewhere, I'm going to do it. It was a request by adi88 and I value her opinion highly. It will not disrupt the course of the story like music lyrics usually would, I'll make it fit.

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Kyo held his lover close, unable to sleep. He was idly stroking his lovers' arm and staring up at the ceiling as if it held secrets he desperately needed to know. He kisses Yuki's forehead before returning his attention the ceiling once more.

"Meow." Momen didn't want to be left out of the comforting position. Kyo let his other hand wander to the kitten. Momen began purring contentedly then scampered across his chest to lay in-between Yuki and Kyo's stomachs.

Eventually Kyo's hands slowed and he drifted to sleep, content with his position; despite his injuries, despite his lovers mental status, despite all the pains of the past, he was content.

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To celebrate Kyo's recovery, even though it wasn't complete, a few cousins gathered to eat dinner together. Tohru had made it, Kyo's favorite, fish of all sorts. They all sat in Shigure's house and the two lovers couldn't help but remember. (Sashimi and sushi I guess.)

Remember the bad, the good, the laughs, kisses, caresses, and the pain. It was a part of their past and even though some of it was bad and they would rather forget, they're not letting go of any memories. They had food, family, friends (Tohru, Hana, Uo), and now all they needed was a toast. Ayame raised his glass first.

"Here's to not getting caught," Then Hatori,

"To letting go," Then Shigure,

"To letting loose," Then Yuki,

"To holding on," and finally Kyo,

"To having fun." Everyone raised his or her glasses even higher before taking a sip. The dinner went by without mention of Yuki or Kyo's current conditions. It was a dinner to highlight the good points in their past and to overshadow the bad. There was laughing and some new memories were made. Slowly but surely the scars of yesterday were fading.

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Back in their dorm, and new kitten, it seemed to them as if life was beginning to stabilize again. _Not getting caught, letting go, letting loose, holding on, and having fun. That's what I want…that's one of the things I wished for, because wishing was all I could do when Akito was alive. _

"Kyo…" The neko pulled the blankets back and waved for his lover to join him.

"Yes Yuki-koi?" Silver hair fell across his face, hiding his eyes as he moved to the bed.

"That was a good toast…" Kyo knew he was beating around the bush, "and it meant a lot to me…its something I always wanted." He was crying now and even if that one warm tear hadn't hit Kyo's tan hand he would've know anyways. Yuki looked up and his purple, tear-rimmed eyes locked with Kyo's firey red ones.

In the slowest of movements Kyo brought his hand up to wipe away his lovers tears and then the other so he could hold his head. "K-Kyo I need you right now, so much…but I can't. I can't but I want it! I know I'm being selfish! I know I only think of mys-"

Kyo brought a finger over Yuki's lips to silence him. "You are not selfish, you don't only think of yourself, and I want you too." Their lips met and Yuki couldn't help but let more tears crash down. The cat could taste salt on his tongue and his lovers as well but he far from cared. _I want him! Damn! How do I do this without worrying Yuki or hurting myself?_ Kyo got an idea and pulled away from his lover.

"Wha-"

"Shhh." Kyo pulled the clothing from Yuki's body, ignoring the protests, and then removed his own. He could see the worry and confusion on his lovers face. "Hatori said no strenuous activities but this isn't so don't worry, even I wouldn't risk death for an orgasm." Yuki couldn't help but laugh at his lovers' bluntness.

The rat spread his legs ever so slightly for Kyo's benefit. "Kyo, I don't want you to just get me off…that…that wouldn't be fair."

"Don't worry I'll enjoy this too." The nezumi closed his eyes and sighed once he felt strong fingers wrap around his girth. Too soon Kyo had Yuki moaning and mumbling the most incoherent of things, he was sure however, that 'Kyo' was among it somewhere.

"K-Kyooo…I…you need…nnnnn." Kyo gave one last firm tug before allowing himself to be pleasured. The rat went straight to his job. First he used both hands to roam over the half aroused flesh before him the brought his tongue into play. Yuki licked slowly along the underside, against the central vain. The neko was arching almost painfully off the bed but his lover refused to take him fully in the mouth. Against the heated head he whispered, "What do you have planned?" Kyo groaned again before pulled his lover up by the hair.

Their lips were touching but the kiss was created from their words. "Something fun."

"For both of us?"

"Yes." Kyo flipped Yuki onto his back and began the sweet torture. Kissing, nipping, and caressing at every inch of Yuki's ivory skin. He paused for a moment while going over both rosy nipples then moved on once more to Yuki's lips. "Ready?" The rat could only whimper, he was almost in pain he was so hard.

Kyo bent down again to lick at his lover's entrance, this caused more moans and whimpers but Kyo continued. "J-just take me. Kyo I need you so bad!" The neko couldn't refuse a plea such as that though. He moved upwards again and more slowly than he ever had before, he entered his lover.

By the time Kyo was fully seethed Yuki was panting and sweating a great deal, bowing off the bed in a painful manner in an attempt to make it go by faster. Immediately after his lover adjusted Kyo began to rub his stomach against the heated organ between them. _So I can't go all crazy, I can still fill him up. He doesn't want to be alone…empty._ More moaning escaped from a slender mouth and delicate nails scrapped at a muscled back.

Kyo brought his hand into play, rubbing and pumping Yuki's arousal. "Yuki…" He was now thrashing his head from side to side, trying to maintain some sanity. "Yuki!" The rat registered his name and eyed his lover to the best of his ability. "Pull at me… please, touch me, anything to make me come with you." Now Yuki understood, as long as Kyo didn't thrust he was okay.

Yuki set to work nibbling on his lover's neck and squeezing on his arousal as best he could. It wasn't long before Kyo was panting and moaning as well. Kyo was close but wanted his rat to come before him. With a few more tugs Yuki came and spasmed around

his lovers' cock, that act pushing Kyo over as well.

That night Kyo made no move to exit his lover. Yuki was far from empty, Kyo was being held and both were content.

_Here's to you Yuki._

_Here's to you Kyo._

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Sorry about the long wait on this chapter but I've been busy with school. This one is…I think…a little bit longer than normal. I was thinking of a way to work out a sex scene w/ penetration and all without thrusting and this is what I came up with. I'm terribly sorry if you didn't like it.

TBC 

**R&R**


	8. Sonnets and Sleep

Chapter 8

Pairings Yuki Kyo

Disclaimer: I say it unwillingly, grudgingly, and out of pure force of law…I do not own Fruits Basket.

Okay so my birthday is on June 22 and my mom has been asking me what I wanted. I don't really like to ask for things and I'm not picky when it comes to presents. I usually only ask for one thing and I perfectly happy. (Nothing expensive either…guess I'm weird like that) Well I finally figured out what I want. Panic! At the Disco is playing at the House of Blues the day after my birthday and the tickets are dirt-cheap! Only one thing is wrong…they just sold out. tear Now I have no clue what I want and I'm back to square one…

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Kyo awoke first, the first thing he noticed before opening his eyes was something warm and tight encompassing him. Images of the night before suddenly flooded his brain and it was a welcome assault. He didn't dare move, he didn't want his lover to wake up just yet. Their current position was too reassuring. Reassuring of their love, their hope, and their future together.

Yuki didn't begin to stir until some time later; even Yuki couldn't sleep all day. Very weakly, the rat wrapped his arms around Kyo's waist. "Morning Koneko."

"Mornin'." Kyo nuzzled his nose into the crook of Yuki's neck and let out a content breath. The two of them remained still for some time until it dawned on them that they were still in school. The rat groaned and pulled his hands away from his lover and brought them to his face. "What's the matter Yuki-koi?"

"I have a sonnet to write for Language Arts class. I was going to start it a few days ago but…" Yuki didn't have to finish, Kyo knew good and well that 'a few days ago' referred to the day he got shot.

"Well go write it, I don't want you to fail just to keep me company." Yuki was about to protest but Kyo pulled out of his lover and rolled off of him. "I'm just going to get some more sleep like a good patient I guess." Yuki brushed his lover's hair from his face and kissed his forehead before leaving.

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One Day Near

by Yuki Sohma

(Note: I, Christina Brown, wrote this Elizabethan sonnet in standard form)

Though we would rather forget the past days

We will continue on living our lives,

Like the plant that grows in the place it lays.

Too afraid to leave and take life's dives.

Moving somewhere new acts as a taboo

So we continue to hide from ourselves,

Afraid to venture out like a bird's coo.

Like books we live to collect dust on shelves.

But maybe one day near we will not hide.

Our confidence will return bit by bit.

Maybe one day we will stand side by side.

We will jump from the place where we sit.

One day near we will stand up and be proud.

On that day our voices will be heard loud.

Yuki leaned back from his desk and pushed his pencil away. _I hope that's good enough to pass…I hope it makes sense._ The rat sighed and rubbed his eyes before going in search of his lover again. Considering he was in the library downstairs and Kyo couldn't leave the dorm, it wasn't a very hard search.

No sooner had Yuki turned the key did he see flaming tresses peeking out from under a blue quilt. He made his way (excuse the archaic metaphor) quiet as a mouse to the bed. He stripped down and eased his way under the covers next to his Kyo-kun. He gently wrapped his arms around that tanned, toned stomach, nuzzled his face into Kyo's neck, and drifted off to sleep again. (Yuki was excused from class for a few days I order to grieve for his ahem cousin)

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_Mmmm…what's that…oh, Yuki must be sleeping._ Kyo smiled in his drowsy state and wrapped his arms firmly around Yuki's pale ones. _All mine little rat._ Kyo idoly rubbed his thumb across the skin of Yuki's hand. He in a slight predicament, he loved the way things were so warm, and how they were pressed together (he is a cat, picture how they like to nap all day in the sun, right there in the middle of the carpet) but he wanted to wake Yuki up, he wanted to kiss him and be kissed by him. _I won't wake him, too much stress, he needs some sleep. At least he stripped down._

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Their position had shifted but Yuki was still off in dreamland somewhere. Now his arms were hugging loosely to Kyo's hips, and he sat up doing his own homework. He had to go through hell to get that paper.

**(Flashback)**

**_Damn! I can't believe he's still asleep. Paper, paper…a pencil too…in the desk right?_ Kyo leaned over Yuki who was all but plastered against him to reach into his nightstand. Yuki refused to be roused or to even flinch. He stayed stiff as a board, firm against Kyo, as the cat fumbled to get a hold of a notebook. He knocked over his alarm clock, spilled some water, almost knocked the lap over, pricked his finger on a sewing needle, _Damn! What in the Hell is that doing there!_, but finally managed to get the paper. Thankfully the pencil was tucked safely into the spiral.**

**(End flashback)**

He tapped his pencil against the notebook in a repetitive manor and stared off into space as if the poem would just materialize in front of him. Finally the idea came to him. Quickly his fingers skirted over the paper in a creative frenzy. _Damn good if I do say so myself._

Let's Stay Together Always 

by Kyo Sohma

(I personally wrote this in a 'found poem' style)

From far away, let your eyes shine,

With a smile that melts everything away.

You're just beginning to notice the days are shining,

Because you know the joy of having been born.

Don't fear the passage of time,

Spring is still far away, inside the cold earth.

Let's stay together always.

Be exposed in a state of purity

Like a flower whose petals have fallen.

Someday it will become a warm memory.

If you leave everything up to your heart

In some miracle we could still brush into each other.

I cannot be reborn,

So hold me gently.

I'm falling further down

And there's no way out

So even if today is painful

And yesterday's wounds remain

Let's stay together always.

(Lines 1, 3, 5, 8, 9, 12, 14, 15, and 16 are from _Sleepless Beauty _by Nittle Grasper. Gravitation Soundtrack

Lines 2, 4, 6, 7, 10, 11, 13, 17, 18, and 19 are from _For Fruits Basket_ found in Fruits Basket soundtrack.)

Kyo turned his head to his lover and whispered thanks to him. Yuki was his inspiration and Kyo was Yuki's. He eased himself back down until he was lying flat against the bed and turned his lips to the rat's ears. "I love you." He kissed his ear and hugged the nezumi close.

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Okay so I hope you liked it. I really did write those poems. The sonnet is actually in Iambic pentameter and it has the standard rhyme scheme. A found poem is where you 'find' words from some other piece of literature, one or more pieces of literature, and rearrange the words until you get an original poem. Hope you guess liked it, adi88 requested some poetry and there you have it.

TBC 

**R&R**


	9. Heartbeats and Breath

Chapter 9

Pairings Yuki Kyo

Disclaimer: Natsuki Takaya owns the all mighty title and all its rights to "Fruits Basket" I am merely awed by her idea so don't sue me…you wouldn't get much anyways.

Okay today I have another chapter. clap, clap Well I'm constructing a mini set in drama for the play "No Exit", which I recommend. It's about Hell, but instead of fire and demons it's a single room painted completely white which you are stuck in for all of eternity, there are also two other people with you…that you can't stand. Mental Hell, let the fun begin. Well I have started writing this chapter so soon because my mommy hasn't been happy with me so I retreat to the computer. Sigh (That doesn't mean you got it much sooner, sorry) such is my life…

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"Damn school! It should just die!" Kyo threw his bag in the corner, peeled off his shirt and snuggled under his covers. mumbling "Damn school, stupid sympathy looks, maybe I should just tell all those girls I'm gay. That would shut them up fast. Hmph…I would too…but Yuki."

"Did I hear my name?" The rat removed his shoes then Kyo's since his feet were hanging off the side of the bed. He then crawled next to his lover and brushed some firey tresses from his tan face.

"Yeah…I was just talking to myself." Yuki drew his hand away and laid his head on it.

"About what?"

"About you, us…school, just everyday things." Kyo pulled Yuki closer to himself and gave him a chaste kiss, when it was over he let his lips linger, too lazy to move away.

"So what do you think I won't do?" Kyo sighed against petal-like lips and started stroking Yuki's lower back. The rat smiled and nuzzled against his kittens neck. "Don't change the subject." Kyo just continued what he was doing; trying to stall even though he knew Yuki was on to him.

"I was just…these girls are getting on my nerves with all of these 'I'm sorry you got shot' gifts. I was thinking maybe we could…"

Come out? Is that what you want Kyo…I don't know if I can…or if I could've. Maybe now, after seeing how easily he could have just left me…maybe I need to make the most of our time together.

Kyo was still rambling about it, trying to find the right words so he wouldn't make his lover upset but still be blunt. It was not an easy thing to do, and being the way Kyo is with words and talking about emotions, it was even worse. His lips were moving franticly and despite the fact that Yuki enjoyed the friction it created against his own lips he pulled away.

"Kyo," The neko took a minute but stopped speaking nonetheless. "Kyo I think I could come out with…us…but I want you to promise me something." The cat sat up and pulled Yuki into his lap, facing him, and stroked the sides of his face.

"Anything Yuki-koi." The rat tucked his nose into the crook of his kittens' neck.

"When we do…come out…you have to-you have to do something I was too afraid to do. You have to kiss me in front of everyone, and hold my hand…I just don't want you to be shy, if we have to tell then we have to be comfortable." Little did Yuki know that doing all those things in public was exactly what Kyo had wanted.

There position had shifted; Kyo was lying back on the bed, Yuki's head on his chest and upper body just below, Yuki's feet dangling off of Kyo's and the bed. The pulsing beat of Kyo's heart and the steady flow of his breathing put the rat in a state of calm. They were going to tell everyone, and not a single breath or heartbeat of any one person or any number of persons would stop them from proclaiming their love happily.

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"In Christianity, Heaven and Hell are heavy words, not to be taken lightly. God is an even more powerful one. Plural, no demi-gods or anything like that. Just angels, demons, good, evil, but just like other religions there are pennants, just like Hindu's Buddhists, and any other religions that may be shared in this room.

God is someone powerful, a name that will never die in…" The teacher continued on with her dull speech but Kyo let his mind wander at the mention of God.

God…a name that will never die, she has no idea how right she is. Yuki's never going to forget, neither am I. Akito out us through Hell and we weren't even dead…the only sins we ever…Yuki…

Kyo noticed his lover fidgeting in his seat. Presumably thinking about 'God' as well, it was not a comfortable subject for the slight mouse teen. Kyo reached his hand out to hold tight to Yuki's, which was trembling, in his lap. The nezumi smiled and mouthed 'I love you' before returning his eyes and ears to the lecture and professor. His thumb Kyo's brushed across the top of his lover's hand over and over, stroking it, just as a sign that he was there.

Soon enough class was over and some other students were waiting by the door for Yuki and Kyo. At the door stood Tsubaki, Tohma, Rena, and Asato, their new friends. Tsubaki and Asato were philosophy students, Tohma wanted to be a doctor and Rena was trying to master computer graphics.

As the lovers stepped down off the last of the bleacher-like aisles of the classroom seats they made their way slowly over to their friends. First they OC'S noticed that Yuki and Kyo were holding hands, and the shorter, paler of the two was smiling, that just did not happen very often. Everyone else had filed out, teacher included so the six of them were alone. Kyo took his opportunity and kissed an off-guard rat. When they realized Yuki wasn't resisting but in fact battling for dominance Tsubaki, Tohma, Rena, and Asato began to clap, one at first then the rest followed.

Kyo broke the kiss, pulling Yuki's bottom lip with him at first, but eventually released it and looked towards his friends. They had both agreed to ease into the 'coming out' ordeal, friends and family (that didn't already know) first. Tsubaki was the first to speak out.

"I told you guys! Asato you owe me 300 yen! They are in love! No doubt about it after a kiss like that." Her friends nodded in agreement and Asato handed her the 300 yen. Yuki smiled once more and refused to let it fade.

They accept us.

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Yuki sat up late that night, stroking his lovers hair as the cat's nose nestled further into Yuki's lap. He starred at the door thinking over the day. With each breath that blew against his lap he was reminded of Kyo's devotion. With each heartbeat against his leg he was reminded of Kyo's strength. It was something he never wanted to forget, unlike so many other things that happened in his life this was good. Even though there was pain to come and pain in the past it was okay. Everything would work out all right in the end, even if it didn't seem that way, it would.

I love you with all my heart, with every breath, for now and forever. Kyo… 

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**TBC**

**R&R**

Okay I accept any and all flames if that religious speech offended you.

Tsubaki: Blue/gray eyes, pale choppy gray/blue hair.

Tohma: Haru's skin tone, green eyes, Shigure type hair but lighter brown.

Rena: Yuki type hair but dyed soft pink, Kyo' skin tone, brown eyes.

Asato: almost black eyes, Kyo cut hair but black, Haru's skin tone.

Well enjoy this chapter please…I really hope you do.


	10. Maybe

Chapter 10

Pairings Yuki Kyo

Disclaimer: I don't own it; I just morph it to fit my minds ideas.

I am soooo sorry about the lateness of this chapter! I humbly beg your apologies. School has been over and with that comes my parents asking more of me. To make up for the long wait I've made it longer.

The statistics used in this chapter are completely and utterly true and you can quote them all you want. THE FACTS SPECIFIED ARE TURE! That was just another subtle reminder.

Oh man I saw Final Fantasy Advent Children and man did I like it, Reno and Cloud are the most awesome ever, cute couple too.

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Kyo sat hard at work with a white band tied across his forehead, hunched over his essay like a good student. _What's with that headband? What purpose does it serve?_ Kyo's headband nagged at Yuki's thoughts. The rat wasn't sure why either, its not like it was hurting him or causing an outright distraction, it just annoyed him that his lover needed to do something so pointless in order to do something important.

"Done yet?" Yuki made a simple noise in the back of his throat signaling that, no, he wasn't done. "Well hurry up I still need to find something. Confucius says this, Confucius says that...Confucius says my ass how 'bout that!" Yuki snorted at this but made no move from the computer screen.

"Hey Kyo, my essay is about sociology…"

"Yeah and? Why should I care, mines about Confucius, whoopdi friggin' do!" The cat had little ears perched on his head now and a frustrated blush spread across his cheeks. The rat made yet another noise, deciding it best to not dignify that with words just yet.

"I found something you might want to know." Kyo 'hmphed' and continued scribbling words across his notebook, his penmanship didn't matter he'd have to type it later anyways. "I'll give you a kiss to come over here." The cats' ears perked up at this and sheepishly made his way over to his oh-so-adorable lover.

"You have me now what is it and where's my kiss damn it?" Yuki turned in his seat and placed his lips against Kyo's, soon pulling that bottom lip into his mouth. Yuki tried nibbling on it but decided it wasn't the same with him doing that and not Kyo, so he released him.

"Good enough?" Kyo nodded before slumping down over the chair and his lover's shoulders, resting his arms across Yuki's front. "Okay I was looking up stuff for my essay and found these facts, listen:

The following is true

If we were to shrink the Earth's population into 100 people the ratios would be as follows: 57 would be Asian, 21 would be European, 14 would be from the Western Hemisphere (North, Central, and/or South America), 8 would be African, 52 would be female, 48 would be male, 70 would be some color other than white, 70 would be non-Christian, 30 would be Christian, 89 would be heterosexual, 11 would be homosexual, 6 people who possess 60 of the entire world's wealth and all 6 would be American, 80 would live in substandard housing with no running water, electricity, or toilets, 70 would be unable to read, 50 would suffer from malnutrition, 1 would be near death, 1 would be ready to give birth, only one would have a college education, and only 1 would own a computer."

"Way to kill a happy moo-"

"Shhh! There's more, please listen Kyo."

The following is also true

"If you woke up this morning with more health than illness you are more blessed than the million who will not survive the week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pains of starvation, you are ahead of 500 million people on Earth.

If you have a refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head, and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75 of the world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, or in a spare dish somewhere you are among the top 8 of the world's wealthiest people.

If your parents are still alive and still married you are very rare.

If you can read this message you are more educated than the 2 billion people that cannot read it."

Kyo sunk down further and rubbed his nose against Yuki's ear. He knew exactly what the rat was thinking. _Right now he's probably going on about how selfish he thinks he is…about the torture crap Akito put him through…damn! Why does he have to be so much like a girl sometimes?_ "Yuki-koi?"

"Yea…" Kyo knew now that something was wrong, he had said 'yea' and not 'yes', which was proper and so like him.

"Come on." Kyo turned the computer chair towards him and pulled his lover by the hands out of the chair. "Instead of worrying about money and other crap," by other crap he meant torture, "lets work on that number 11. We can't let that statistic down now can we?" Yuki laughed awkwardly and let himself fall onto his boyfriend, his nose against the nape of his lovers tanned neck. Kyo wrapped his arms around Yuki and lifted him over to the bed.

He didn't even wait for Yuki to hit the bed; he had already begun the sloppy 'kitten' kisses across the rats pale neck and jaw line. A mewing noise came from the smaller teen as he surrendered himself to the feeling.

_I just want to let go._

It was as if their clothes magically disappeared and reformed in the abyss of the room somewhere. They were naked, touching each other, kissing, and that's all that mattered. Yuki could barely feel Kyo's lips and hands, instead he was left with a feeling of warmth and in his mind he felt a cool prickling feeling. Not the cool prickling of an impending pain but of a feeling. The more he tried to place it the more it took away from the pleasure he was feeling. Too soon, or maybe much later, he couldn't tell, Kyo was forcing himself into that welcome heat Yuki held.

Kyo mistook Yuki's lidded eyes as a sign of lust and continued on not aware of the inner struggle his lover was battling. Not to say that Yuki wasn't enjoying himself, he just wasn't sure if it was right to enjoy himself, with all that was wrong with him, his family, his lover…

_I need to feel something…or nothing. I don't what I want._

Kyo held tight to Yuki's hips as he tried his damnedest to make his love happy. _Just a little bit of bliss, I can do that for him. I hope this works._

_Let go, let go, leave me alone. Leave Kyo and me in peace!_

Yuki let himself go, just in time to feel his lover 'let go' and he was soon to follow. He was left in a blissful fog and didn't mind the warmth from Kyo as he fell. They lay like that for some time. Kyo didn't even bother pulling out of his lover. Like the kitten he was, Kyo began to purr as Yuki ran his hand through semi-damp firey tresses.

"Who…"

"Hm?" Kyo snuggled his nose further into the crook of Yuki's neck and held his waist tighter.

"The facts," Kyo knew full and well that he was ruining an otherwise happy moment but he was a cat and sometimes nature cannot be helped, "they were e-mailed to you. From who?" Yuki's hand stilled in Kyo's hair, and he let out a sigh. Kyo let his eyes wander upwards so they could lock with vivid violet ones. Only what he saw was a sad excuse for the vivid color they were before. They looked different now, more sad, tired, and somehow a dim angry as well.

"Akito…he sent it a while ago but I never checked it. The subject line…" His gaze flickered to the computer, still on, e-mail opened, before dropping his gaze off to the side, not willing to look at Kyo or the message. He felt like he could've stared at his own bed forever, so as not to face anyone again, to be the passive child again.

It was such a safe place. I didn't provoke anything, no one noticed me…maybe I could just curl up again and not talk. I hardly do that as it is. Would Kyo notice? Would he care or keep loving me as if I were the same?

Eventually though his gaze wandered back to Kyo whose head was still tucked under his chin. "The subject said not to read it until I couldn't speak to him anymore. I always wanted to read it hoping it said that he was sorry…or something…but deep down I was still afraid that it would be something harsh. The truth is I'm not sure what it was…"

Truth be told Kyo wasn't sure either. It was a nice way to look at how lucky or not alone you are, but Yuki over analyzes everything, not always a good thing. "Maybe Akito wasn't sure." The rat closed his eyes hoping more words would come from his lover's mouth. He still didn't understand and that's what he needed more than anything at that moment, to understand.

"Akito has always been pulled two ways. He says he loves but then he hurts you…maybe because that's how his parents treated him, he didn't know any better. No one tried to make him happy, at least not without his or her own motives. He wasn't sure whom to trust.

Maybe he got bored one day waiting for Hatori to get to him, Kami knows I do, and stumbled onto that crap. Maybe it made him feel better about himself. He always thought you were like him, maybe he thought you'd find…what's the word…solace in those facts. Maybe for one minute while thinking about his death he was afraid, just like you were. Maybe he realized how human he was and wanted you to feel that way too. And not in a bad way…you weren't always treated human and maybe…"

The words were slow coming and even slower getting to Yuki's ears. He thought it over and realized how true it all seemed to be. It was defiantly plausible.

Maybe he's right, sometimes when he yelled at me he looked sad not just angry. And that time with Ms. Honda when he pulled her by the hair…

"Akito…"

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TBC R&R 

Well instead of the usual 3 pages of writing it's around 5 so I hope that makes up for something.

Please review this, it feels to me like the story has gone downhill and I'm sooo sorry. I just can't help it. My heads been hurting so much lately and the added babysitting jobs…

I love you guys for reading this.


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